How to: Explain a frequently asked somewhat "awkward" family situation

Funny posting title huh? But I BET it got your attention!

So I know your asking the question What is an frequently asked somewhat "awkward" family situation? Is it why some in-laws can be seriously from the gates of hell and everyone thinks something is wrong with you too, or close to it?.. LOL (not my in-laws they are the sweetest people ever, but I haven't met them yet either...hmmph I'll get back to you on that answer in September when Sarah my Mother-in-law stays for a full month).

Is it the fact that my Hubby would rather play WOW (or any other console/computer game on the market) and stay home than go out for "family fun" or get his picture taken for a family portrait? No, its not even that, even though that is sometime a question that comes up "Where's the hubby?", LOL I laugh and say oh he's tired. had a long day at work.. . you know the military and all that excruciating training (they barely PT and they get off before Noon almost all the time, well "He" does, sorry for those of ya'll who's Navy hubbies don't... ).

No, the most awkward family situation and I know I put myself into it, everytime I get asked the question..about my children and due to the fact I'm preggo my pregnancies. First off I have 2 boys, Devin is my oldest and Gabriel who just turned 16 months old and I'm almost 30 weeks preggo with baby girl Helana.

It starts... at the Doctor office, each OB visit I have gone to this whole pregnancy, see with my insurance (Tricare Prime) I'm seen at a Military treatment facility by military docs/nurses/in training students, I RARELY have the same Physician see me, so that is how question #1 comes up "Is this your first pregnancy?" , and I know your like is this the awkward question, No but it is the question that's linked to the most "Awkward" which if you keep on reading you'll find out, *Smile*.

I ponder how I should answer..I give them the basics... literally this is my 6th pregnancy (we won't get into the details in this posting..) then the "living" children question is brought up... I say I have 2 boys, which is true. Then they ask the ages... and then they say "Oh, wow I bet your glad to have a girl this time!" Yes, I'm overjoyed to have a baby girl but that still isn't the question or the answer.


Devin does not "live" with me, I have joint custody of him, which includes open visitation but due to the fact that my "ex-hubby" moved him all the way to Iowa, he makes it ever soo difficult for me to maintain a health relationship with my oldest son. We are working on moving closer , my hubby's orders are up in January so we will know by November where we are moving and believe me we are trying to get us closer to him. So I tell them I have Gabriel at home, while I have joint custody of my oldest.. which also brings up the question "Oh your hubby isn't his Father?", no he isn't and he also isn't the father of....

Gabriel I have full custody of. I know your baffled, my current hubby is not his Dad, neither do they look a lick alike... Phil is full blooded German , very pale with blonde hair and blue eyes. I have auburn hair, brown eyes, yellowish complexion (due to being a mix of Japanese, Cherokee, Irish, Blackfoot, and English). SO I always get the compliment when Gabriel is seen with my hubby and I, that Gabriel looks soo much like me, his Mommy, and those are the nice people who don't tend to go any further than that.... Gabriel is a mix of of course me and Italian/Puerto Rican.. see how he wouldn't even remotely look German.. *smile*

Helana (due in September) she is the "girl" I've always dreamed of but knew would never be possible with my ex-hubby and a big hell no with Gabriel's Dad (we never were on relationship terms, that's putting it VERY nicely). Phillip (my hubby) is the proud Daddy of Helana, for he "knew" he'd always make a baby girl and yeah he was right cause I for a long while thought I was to only have boys and that is what God had planned for me.

So basically I answered the question of the most awkward questions "Who's the Babies Daddy?". With Devin its a little more acceptable due to the fact that his Father is my ex-husband, we were married and we divorced , we have a son together.. that happens these days.

With Gabriel its the most awkward, he doesn't look like Phil and he was also born 4 days after I married Phil , so Phil was with me the whole pregnancy (Bless his heart, he's seriously the most understanding, loving, sweetie, etc.. hubby ever and I thank GOD for him) except for the time we had a little breakup (therefore Gabriel was conceived in that time frame). Gabriel is not a mistake though I wouldn't give him up for the world, I love him to death but it had been a bit of a rough situation the whole timeframe until his birth a bit afterwards, with the acceptance from Phil being his Step-Dad. Oh, Gabriel's Dad does have visitation but he is out to sea so he isn't able to see him as often as he'd like but he does try his best to maintain a relationship with him when he can.

So in a nutshell that's how I explain when people seem to not understand and I have to do this almost weekly.. because everytime I'm with Gabriel (which is "ALWAYS" LOL) and occasionally myself, Gabriel, and hubby I get asked a question that leads up to me having to explain the whole list of who's Daddy is who's and where's your oldest son... quite awkward don't you think? But I love my children to death and wouldn't change the awkwardness for the world!


Thanks to An Island Life for "Group Writing Project 1", I love creative writing! Let me know what you think of my post and if you also submitted your posting to An Island Life's fun project!

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Smiles,


~Kristinia/Loving Heart Mommy~

How to: Explain a frequently asked somewhat "awkward" family situation