The Reality Of Dating A Much Younger Man
Each and every time a female celebrity starts dating a much younger man, the judgment also begins to fly, as if on cue. It didn’t make for exciting news when, for instance, Catherine Zeta-Jones started seeing Michael Douglas – a man many years her senior; but when Jamie-Lynn Sigler, a 31-year-old actress, announced that she was getting engaged to 23-year-old Cutter Dykstra, the online community exploded with commentary, both negative and positive, but equally passionate.
The term “cougar” – used to describe women who date much younger women, carries a certain negativity to it: the woman is the hunter, and the poor young male is the hunted. There is a slight taboo to dating much younger men, and if you’re going to trespass it, why not make sure you do it for something that is worth your while? It’s definitely helpful to appreciate the reality of dating a much younger man – to understand what you’ll be getting yourself into.
What is the allure of it? The novel nature of a relationship with a much younger man is what pumps excitement into the relationship to begin with. By the time a woman is well into her mid to late forties or fifties, she has dated all kinds of men, and the ordinary relationship seemingly offers nothing but pure boredom. The new energy and adventure a relationship with a younger man promises can be a powerful incentive to try it out.
The younger man will make you feel young and attractive again, he will push boundaries you had fearfully cocooned yourself in; and show you the world in a whole new light – in ways that older men or those your own age couldn’t possibly be able even to imagine.
All stereotypes carry with them significant inaccuracies – and exceptions always abound even where some of them are true. So the platitudes you’ve always heard about younger men being possibly immature, non-committal or just interested in sex – might be false generalizations standing in the way of a happy and successful relationship with a younger man.
There are two sides to every coin however, and some difficulties commonly reported by those who have dated younger men must be appreciated. Society has trained our minds to believe that the male ought to be the stronger, wiser, more affluent partner in the relationship – that it is natural for the man to be on a higher footing in a heterosexual relationship.
Older women, however, have lived longer and seen much more. They are more experienced, possibly richer and more knowledgeable. This might be awkward at first, and overwhelming for the younger man if he is not sufficiently secure.
You can expect to encounter judgmental attitudes widely reported by people in various kinds of unconventional relationships. Both of you must have the stomach for it, and get used to ignoring any judgmental remarks or glances. There possibly will be a difference in your energy levels, and both parties need to find a way to negotiate a balance that suits everyone.
At the end of the day, it’s all about finding the right balance for differences both parties are sure to encounter between them, and not to let them get in the way of having a happy, successful relationship.
For the success stories out there, these differences become less and less visible as time goes by. They only remember about their age difference when they get the curious look. If on the other hand the differences grow bigger and more visible by the day, both parties must be mature enough to call it a day.
Whichever way you look at it, cougar dating has become a worldwide phenomenon – from Australia to the USA, you will find cougar dating web sites everywhere. It has never been so easy for young men to fulfill their ultimate fantasy to cougar date and become intimate with an older, more experienced woman. And why not? Age is just a number!